I have came to a conclusion and accepted the fact that I will be alone for a long time.
Reasons to support this:
- I haven't dated, ever. My last 'boyfriend' was almost 4 years ago and it was at a shitty time in my life. I got dumped 3 weeks into the relationship.
- I'm not dating material.
- I'm too picky. Anyone I have feelings for is too good for me.
- When someone likes me back, I tend to focus on their flaws and force myself to stop talking to them. (subconsciously)
- When I ever get intimate with someone, I get extremely self-consious and I don't enjoy it.
Why I'm okay with this:
- When I fall for someone, my emotions go overboard and I go crazy. If they like someone else, I get really depressed. So I'd rather not like anyone and have a stable mind set.
- As long as I have a cat to cuddle with, I don't need anyone else.
There should be more reasons for why I'm okay with being alone, but the first one's pretty solid.